Hei Im Back

      I just wanted to reach out and say I’m back.. HELLO

          

                                 And my new me 👇🏻

INSTAGRAM

Im definitely addicted to :





ig - BulanChantek



HOW ABOUT YOU GUYS?

ROOM

Quite, alone..
And no one there..
LONELY.

HATI INI

Bukankah Aku – By Awi Rafael

Hancur hatiku hatiku ini
Meskipun tiada pun yang tahu
Aku berdoa aku kan cuba
Meskiku tak lagi percaya

Namun ku masih tetap mencuba
Hampa hati yang ada di langkah kaki
Namun tetap ku menanti

Bukankah aku yang kau mengatakan cinta
Bukan diriku yang kau janjikan semua
Luluh hatiku menantikanmu
Menantikan jawabmu ohh

Meskipun engkau bukan seperti yang dulu
Namun ku tetap disini menantikanmu
Sampai hatimu tinggalkan aku
Namun cintaku tetap hanya untukmu

Bukankah aku yang kau mengatakan cinta
Bukan diriku yang kau janjikan semua
Luluh hatiku menantikanmu
Menantikan jawabmu ohh

Meskipun engkau bukan seperti yang dulu
Namun ku tetap disini menantikanmu
Sampai hatimu tinggalkan aku
Namun cintaku tetap hanya untukmu

* Currently I'm listening to this song...ahhhhh it's May...:( *

LUAHAN

Hi readers, I am apologize for my absence and I'm at home, having a cup of milo and listening to some tunes of musics. Anyway about today things are pretty low for no good reason. I'm off sick with some gastronomic symptoms maybe disheartening, depression, lazy or what..(i don't know).. Oh weird I was blank to write..."damn" I must bite my tongue now and shall wait the time to get some ideas to write...BLUR - to be continue...

DEGIL

After all this, I'm so confused and I am not sure how I feel about me...things change but life doesn't stop for anyone neither me...I made mistakes and I have regrets. I acted like I'm a lot tougher than I am but I'm crying a lots. I'm not perfect, but the beauty of it is, I don't care.. Maybe I'm not letting it go, Yes I'm not because I don't want to forget...DEGIL

IF I COULD/ BE ABLE

Kalau I mampu menjerit, I akan menjerit sekuat hati, Kalau I mampu bertahan, I akan bertahan menjadi kuat, Kalau I mampu berhenti, I akan berhenti untuk meneruskan, Kalau I mampu berfikir, I akan berfikir sebelum memulakan, Kalau I mampu berpatah balik, YES I akan berpatah balik supaya tidak bertemu, Kalau I mampu tidak melihat, I akan terus tidak melihat, KALAU I MAMPU Tapi I tidak mampu untuk segalanya di atas.. Menyesal...it's to late for me...

CRYING BABY

The world as I see it ~> my life, my view..... Crying is my birth right and shall have it. Ok I admit it, I'm a cry baby...I cry at the drop of a hat over anything and everything...sometimes I cry for the silliest of things... Rindu pun boleh menangis too..ahhhh I'm so lembik..Sometimes I get annoyed at my self and wonder is it a bad thing to cry? basically crying has always been associated with women. Another stereotype. REASON? Mmmmm possibly because women aren't afraid of being mocked for crying or for that matter afraid of openly expressing their emotion. My opinion, crying definitely makes the head and the heart lighter, crying is not a sign of vulnerability nor is it a sign of weakness. Oh ya, keeping pain bottled up may make me look strong temporarily but eventually the volcano will burst and the lava will come out stronger than before.... *spiderweb head*

TIADA REZEKI

Kata orang, rezeki itu ada dimana-mana. Memang pun betul kata pepatah melayu. Apa ke tidaknya, I dah ada di Jeddah, dekat je kalau nak pergi membuat umrah or nak pergi ziarah sembahyang di Masjidil Haram. Just bayar duit cab pergi and balik around not more than Rm200. Orang lain kena membayar beribu ringgit untuk pergi, tapi bila I disini, tak pergi...haissss...bukan untuk trip kali ni maybe..tiada panggilan untuk I pergi menziarah walaupun sudah dekat..hati memang kuat nak pergi beribadah disana sambil berdoa agar dimakbulkan..tetapi tiada jemputan untuk I kesana..tersangat lah sedih hati I bila difikirkan, rugi memang teramat rugi untuk orang seperti I yang beragama Islam. Tak apa lah, maybe next time kot rezeki dan panggilan buat diri I nanti...insyaAllah... *Tak shopping apa-apa pun this time sebab frust tak masuk Mekah, just bought mom's henna*

KAWIN

I'm single and no prospects...But that is not the main subject that I would like to blog in here. Actually a few minutes ago I just found out that my Ex boyfriend (NOT SHARAZAD) just got married a couple weeks ago (1st April). I was shocked, numb and speechless a minute. There is a little hurt that came in when i know the person from a piece of my heart moved on to be happy. AAAHHH Langtak lah, i'm not looking for sympathy anyway. I'm just shocked that he's married, that's all... Why i'm shock? i'm shocked just because he did told me before that he don't want any commitment to have a family and i left him for that reason...THE END

RINDU

Ya Allah it's almost 5 am and I'm still wide awake missing someone strongly. I am always wonder that when we miss someone, is it because we love that person? My answer here is, Yes..We do love them and I love him so much.
It has been 6 months I have moved on but still until today I have him in my mind. It's really hurts and painful and he

always have an access getting in inside my mind, and always makes me wanted to see him or be with him but of course that was all in my mind but its driving me crazy (Alhamdullillah not yet crazy), orang dah tak suka still lagi teringat). I tears at him day and night. It’s horrible feeling in my gut and it just won’t go away, really painful...
As hard as it is to let him go, I know I have to. I told my self, Sometimes when you love someone so much, you have to let it go, with hopes they will come back to you. And if they don’t, there’s nothing more to do but move on. Time heals all wounds, but without those wounds, I would not be the strong person and i would not have grown into the woman I am proud to be. I don’t know what my future holds, I don’t know if I will have him back in my life the way it was. But at least I know a side of him no one else does. And I hope I have planted something in his head so he knows he’s a great person and worth every bit of love from someone else. I miss him like crazy and some days it’s difficult to breathe, but with each breath I get a piece of me back and know I am fortunate to have even known him. I will always love him and still missing him till today no matter where our paths lead us..MISS HIM :(


* Mohd Sharazad Saiful Bahri*

SAMBIL SELAM, KITA MINUM DULU

Pepatah melayu said, sambil menyelam kita minum air, so here i am, sambil mememilih pilih avatar and layout design i dengan pantas zasssssss menulis lagi..Bukan apa, nak bagi tau, yang sebenarnya i ada twitter yang lebih active dari i menulis dalam blog (ceh perasan lah i ni, macamlah banyak sangat menulis).
I rasa lah meTweet ni lagi senang sebab tulis apa yang ringkas saja and yang lagi satu mana-mana boleh update sebab using handphone (i guna BB, Ceh best sangat ke). Nak update blog ni i rasa macam leceh sebah nak kena on lappy, eventho i ada I-Pad, eh i'm not trying to cakap i ni gadget women, tapi orang ada , i pun sibuk nak ada juga. Ok back to the I-Pad, actually I-Pad tu i guna untuk main games saja, and all the emails and FB I just check thru my BB. So to write and blogging me telah lupakan for sekejap.`Sebab i lebih suka blogging thru lappy, macam lebih senang as the tittle atas said sambil selam kita minum, meaning that, sambil i buat assignment i tu dulu, i memblogging. Easy right, so tak lah stress sangat..
Closing, my twitter account is YanMalik. *after ni try lah blogging using I-Pad*
Oh tidak, this is what I don't like, my lappy buat hal, so here i can't continue menukar segalanya...hate it when you are in the mood of making something, then ada yang berlaku...stress..stress...nasib baik ada I-Pad...

TIME TO CHANGE

         TIME TO CHANGE THIS LAY OUT

  Yuhoooooo...im back..after so long menghilangkan diri...haisssss suddenly tak tahu how nak mulakan, terpandang lama depan lappy ni...tersangat tak bestnya...before ni punyalah banyak nak story..siap draft lagi dalam kepala...
Ok anyway folks, The tittle is "Time to change" , yup time to change for segala- galanya dalam my blog ni. From the nick name to the profile picture and the design of the lay out..Punyalah lama tertukar. Blogger lain semua dah advance menukar macam-macam, tapi i tetap yang lama..haisss sunggu memalukan..

Maha melihat by Opick ft Amanda

Seiring waktu berlalu
tangis tawa di nafasku
hitam putih di hidupku
jalani takdirku

Tiada satu tersembunyi
tiada satu yang terlupa
segala apa yang terjadi
Engkaulah saksinya

Kau yang Maha Melihat
Kau yang Maha Mendengar
Kau yang Maha Pemaaf
PadaMu hati bertaubat

Kau yang Maha Pengasih
Kau yang Maha Penyayang
Kau yang Maha Pelindung
PadaMu semua bertekun

Yang dicinta ‘kan pergi
yang didamba ‘kan hilang
hidup kan terus berjalan
meski penuh dengan tangisan

Andai bisa ku mengulang
waktu hilang dan terbuang
andai bisa ku kembali
hapus semua pedih

Andai mungkin aku bisa
kembali ulang segalanya
tapi hidup takkan bisa
meski dengan air mata

SEPTEMBER

Dear September...

Please be good to me...

JUST WANTED TO SHARE

Just wanted to share ...and i found this from the google web... Falling in love may be a common expression in much of the Western world but it isn’t used much elsewhere. The phrase may be connected to the idea of "falling head over heels," which was used in the 1300s, and is another term for being struck suddenly by great romantic attraction to someone else. Even with this connection, it can be hard to get a beat on what falling in love means, or what it feels like. Each person may define this experience somewhat differently. Generally, when a person falls in love they have heightened romantic interest in someone else, and this doesn’t necessarily have to occur at first sight. Many people are friends first and find over time their feelings change to those more romantic in nature. They might want more from a relationship than just friendship and they may cherish more than friendly feelings for the person with whom they’ve fallen in love. The word fall suggests that there’s a certain helplessness about these feelings of attraction, and they’re not necessarily within the control of the person stricken suddenly with great affection. It is true that people can’t always determine who or what attracts them, but they don’t have to be helpless in this regard. People can make choices about whether to act on romantic feelings. However, for those experiencing falling in love for the first few times, the feelings can seems so powerful that there seems little choice but to act upon them. Some people have challenges maturing out of this impulse, which can make forming lasting romantic relationships very difficult. It would be hard to dispute that initial feelings of attraction and the “falling in love” state are powerful. For centuries, writers and poets have sung both the agonies and joys of discovering passionate feelings for someone else. Chaucer called this early “love” state the “dredful joye” representing both the pitfalls and ecstasy. Infatuation and romantic interest especially at the onset of a relationship can be both painful and exciting. People have verifiable physiological reactions when in this early love state. A sight of the object of their affection may cause the pulse to race and the body to sweat. Certain neurotransmitters in the brain tend to be produced in greater volume, which can promote happiness and some anxiety. Yet most social scientists would agree that the reaction is not entirely a chemical one and involves the thinking brain and the emotions on numerous levels. Another point on which most psychologists would agree is that falling in love is most certainly not the same as maintaining a sustained love relationship. Falling in love tends to be easy, but remaining in love with a person can be difficult. The rush of feelings accompanied with the flush of early love make it hard to judge exactly how viable a relationship might be in the future. For this reason, it’s not recommended that people make quick decisions or lifelong commitments while in this early stage. Getting to know someone after the roller coaster ride of falling in love with him or her may be a fantastic way to determine if the initial fall into love leads to lasting love.

SHE LOVE ME

I'd like to introduce you to Dan Waber, an excellent concrete poet ..Here are poems of Dan's.

She Loves Me

"Say you love me," she says.
"I love you," I say.

"Say it again," she says.
"I love you," I say again.

"Say it once more," she says.
"I love you," I say once more.

"Say it louder," she says.
"I love you," I emote theatrically to the
passenger seat proscenium.

"Now say it in a high, squeaky voice," she says.
"I love you," I squeak in my best mouse voice.

"Oh!, you really do love me," she says.
"I do," I say. I do, I do, I do.

P/S: * I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SAYANG*

HANYALAH CINTA

Semua yang telah aku dapat

Indah dan gemerlap
Satu hari kan pudar

Dan sinarnya akan hilang

Sesuatu yang telah aku raih

Di dalam hidup ini

Tak untuk selamanya
Ini semua sementara

Yang aku cari hanyalah cinta
Hanya cinta yang tak terganti
Yang aku mau hanyalah cinta
Hanyalah cinta yang ku beri

Yang selalu ku tunggu hanyalah cinta
Hanya cinta yang tak terganti
Yang aku nanti hanyalah cinta
Hanyalah cinta yang abadi

Mencari artinya hidup ini
Detak waktu masih ada
Ada yang paling berwarna
Apa yang kan sia-sia

Yang aku cari hanyalah cinta
Hanya cinta yang tak terganti
Yang aku mau hanyalah cinta
Hanyalah cinta yang ku beri

abadi, abadi, hanyalah cinta
hanya cinta ooh

Yang aku cari hanyalah cinta
Hanya cinta yang tak terganti
Yang aku mau hanyalah cinta
Hanyalah cinta yang ku beri
ABADI....

ESPECIALLY FOR YOU

Especially for you
I want to let you know what I was
Going through
All the time we were apart I thought
Of you
You were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same

Especially for you
I want to tell you I was feeling that
Way too
And if dreams were wings, you
Know
I would have flown to you
To be where you are
No matter how far
And now that I?m next to you

No more dreaming about
Tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I've got to say
It's all because of you

And now were back together,
Together
I want to show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

Especially for you
I want to tell you, you mean all the world to me
How I'm certain that our love was
Meant to be
You changed my life
You showed me the way
And now I'm next to you

I've waited long enough to find you
I want to put all the hurt behind you
And I want to bring out the love
Inside you, oh and
Now were back together, together
I want to show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

You were in my heart
My love never changed
And now that I?m next to you
No more dreaming about
Tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the
Sorrow
I've got to say
It's all because of you

IF YOU ARE A PASSENGER OF AN AIRLINE, PLS READ IT... =)

If you're traveling away with airplane, no matter its low-cost, five star skytrax, domestic airlines or whatever. you will meet male or female dressing with uniform and welcome you with their smile. They are 'CABIN CREW'

 

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS:

They trained for help you in any emergency, not only work as YOUR waitress to serve you Coffee or Tea 

 

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS:

They're praying so hard that nothing is gonna happen with you during the flight.

Sometimes you see they're smiling all the way from take off and landing.

 

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS:

Deep down inside they cried, think about their sick parents.

Sometimes you see they're with branded items.

 

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS:

They shop because they tried to forget about their home.

Sometimes you see them walking so fast at the terminal gate.

 

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS:

They wants today to end fast, so it continuous to the other day, make one day closer to their annual leave.

Sometimes you see them sitting on the jump seat, while the service over but they did not close their eyes.

 

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS:

They feel so sleepy, till they can sleep without closing their eyes.

Sometimes you yelled at them, because you cant get your choices of meal.

 

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS:

They're feel guilty, but they cant do nothing about that. 

Sometimes you told them to carry your 5kgs bag to the over head compartment

 

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS:

They're not allowed to do that. beside,they're human and mostly woman. how about if all the passenger ask them to carry the bag?

 

AND WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS:

They really wish to be in your position,

Traveling with the whole family,

Sitting next to your lover,

Cuddled your 1 year old sister/brother,

When they see outside the aircraft

They think what it feels to be on ground out there...

 

So PLS, if you are a PASSENGER of an airline, pls be nice and patient with the Cabin Crew... =)

FORGIVING AN AFFAIR

How to forgive an Affair and how to move on.

The discovery of an affair will attack you with shock, anger and numbness. No matter what way you choose to react, your surroundings will look the same afterwards because you have not yet started coping with what has transpired. You find that you are suddenly lost due to being caught off guard. You never thought this would happen to you. So when it does, what should you do when this painful truth is revealed and how can you forgive it?

The first thing to do when you find out that your partner has been cheating is to allow your emotions to flow out of your body. Holding your feelings in will only make you feel worse and cause a tremendous amount of stress both physically and mentally. Once you have expressed your instant reaction, you can start thinking more slowly and rationally. You will start examining your relationship, wondering where it went wrong and if it was ever as wonderful as you claimed it to be. You will create a chain of questions that have not yet been answered and will start feeling farther and farther away from getting any of them answered. Everything will be sorted out time, but first thing is first and that is getting your emotions sorted out.

Once your emotions have been expressed and sorted out, it is important to remember to not give the affair more power over your life than it deserves, even though at the time being, it feels like the end of the world. The fact of the matter is, it is not the end of the world, but has changed your world and the way you look at it, which is understandable. Know that your partner's affair has nothing to do with his or her love for you, nor does it make you a failure in relationships. What the affair does tell you though, is that there are essential issues that need to be addressed. It is normal to be angry and unable to calmly discuss this with your partner, so let him or her know that (without getting violent or throwing them out of course). Let him or her know that you are deeply hurt and angry that they chose an affair as a way to deal with the issues in your relationship and you are not ready to talk about it just yet.

When you are ready, where do you start? It will be difficult to focus on the discussion if you are torturing yourself with visual thoughts of the cheating act. Make an effort to be strong and avoid the unnecessary painful thoughts that will in no way make you feel better or get your relationship back on track. You know what goes on when two people are intimate, so save yourself the details you already know and spare yourself the hurt. The focus is to find and establish the reasons for the affair and ways you can move on with your lives together, with a new and improved affair proof relationship. Good communication will be the key to your road to recovery, so be sure to ask the right questions, listen with undivided attention and understanding, as well as answering the questions you are asked and finding suitable solutions on how to prevent the same event in the future.

Anger, as well as other emotions, will arise while you and your partner attempt to make things right and better. You may blow up during discussions because your mind will re-fresh your memory of how your partner had the guts to betray you and how stupid, hurt and disrespected it made you feel. Your partner (the afairee) may also become upset because of your non-stop attacks on him or her, especially if they confessed and genuinely apologized. Before attempting any conversations regarding the affair, be sure that you and your partner agree to disagree and express anger. You both need to have patience for each other's feelings, for it will take time to get past the emotional outbursts. If things start getting out of control and you find yourselves no longer talking, but only yelling and blaming instead, end the conversation and give each other some space. You may need to do this several times until you can talk without such interruptions. Take it one step at a time. After all, if you and your partner have made a decision to make things work, then there is no need to rush and panic.

After you and your partner get everything out in the open and understand the roots of the affair, you can then concentrate on re-building the trust and forgiving once and for all. Forgiving your partner does not mean you will forget what happened, but it will mean that you have accepted what transpired and are ready to move forward without bringing the past into your future as a couple. It will be difficult for you to blindly trust your partner again, but you must make an effort, as well as your partner. Your trust will strengthen as time goes by and through the convincing actions of your partner. You cannot put your partner on a leash and monitor him or her 24 hours a day, and you shouldn't want to. Do not expect things to magically improve, because you will be disappointed. Re-building the trust, passion and strength in your relationship will take a reasonable amount of time and could even require counseling if you feel you cannot make it on your own.

Re-building your self-esteem will help you forgive the affair as well. Being betrayed can do great damage to the way you feel about and look at yourself. You may feel less attractive physically and not worthy enough both mentally and spiritually. Get in touch with yourself and terminate your insecurities by finding ways to replenish the perspective you have on your being. Continue to tell yourself that an affair does not change the wonderful person you are and you are just as beautiful, desirable, intelligent and respectable as ever.

To avoid getting pulled back into the past, set your mind and heart on creating new memories together. Exploring new happiness will help your relationship mend and move on greatly. Go on dates, get romantic and become better friends than before! Make a permanent note in your mind that nobody is perfect but everyone deserve forgiveness for their mistakes. Try putting yourself in your partner's shoes and think about the pain and regret they are going through and how much they love you. He or she knew it was wrong to do before they did it, but probably felt it was their only way to cope with their troubles at the time. If you have been genuinely apologized to and promised that it will never happen again, then open your heart and give him or her a chance. You obviously love your partner and he or she loves you, which is why you have decided to forgive and move on. So work as a team and be each other's strength in putting the past behind you, looking at it as a learning experience in which will assist you in making your love affair-proof from this point on.

KESEPIAN

Kurindu disayangi
Sepenuh hati
Sedalam cintaku
Setulus hatiku

Kuingin memiliki
Kekasih hati
Tanpa air mata
Tanpa kesalahan

Bukan cinta yang melukai diriku
Dan meninggalkan hidupku.. lagi

Tolonglah aku dari kehampaan ini
Selamatkan cintaku dari hancurnya hatiku
Hempaskan kesendirian yang tak pernah berakhir

Bebaskan aku dari keadaan ini
Sempurnakan hidupku dari rapuhnya jiwaku
Adakah seseorang yang melepaskanku
Dari kesepian ini

Adakah seseorang yang melepaskanku
Dari kesepian ini
Kesepian ini..

KEABADIAN CINTA

Cinta bukan dilihat dengan mata..cinta bukan didengar dengan telinga..tetapi cinta di rasa dalam hati..Jika cinta dilihat dengan mata dan didengar dengan telinga-penyesalan,benci,hampa,kecewa dan give-up akan wujud dalam diri..
Lihatlah dengan hati,dan dengarlah kata hati..kerana itu lebih kuat untuk mengetahui.

BAGAIMANA HARUSKU SUARAKAN

~ BILA KEYAKINAN KU DATANG...kasih bukan sekadar cinta..MAAFKAN LAH JIKA KU TAK SEMPURNA..cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah..AYAT AYAT CINTA BERCERITA ~

YA RAB'BI

Di indah dunia di akhir sunyi,langkah kaki di dalam rancangan..Semua berjalan dlm kehendaknya..Nafas hidup adalah segalanya..Segala nya kehendakmu ya rab'bi..Ku berserah ku berpasrah hanya pada mu ya rab'bi..Bila mungkin ada luka..cubalah tersenyum lah..Bila mungkin tawa,cubalah bersabar...Kerna air mata tidak abadi..akan hilang berganti...

FOR YOU..

~Someone that im not venture to mention..And i wish that one day i could tell this personally~

Detik waktu terus berjalan
Berhias gelap dan terang
Suka dan duka tangis dan tawa
Tergores bagai lukisan

Seribu mimpi berjuta sepi
Hadir bagai teman sejati
Di antara lelahnya jiwa
Dalam resah dan air mata
Kupersembahkan kepadaMu
Yang terindah dalam hidup

Meski ku rapuh dalam langkah
Kadang tak setia kepadaMu
Namun cinta dalam jiwa
Hanyalah padaMu

Maafkanlah bila hati
Tak sempurna mencintaiMu
Dalam dadaku harap hanya
DiriMu yang bertahta

Detik waktu terus berlalu
Semua berakhir padaMu

KETULUSAN HATI

Sedihku sakitku ku terima
Ku rela ku pasrah jalanku
Ini suratan aku dicuba
Demi rahmat-Mu ku memohon

Yaa Allah redhai ketulusan hati
Yaa Allah beri aku ketabahan
Yaa Allah aku sanggup berkorban
Demi rahmat-Mu Yaa Allah

IFR

Today you already made me HAPPY with one simple message through my BBM (Hi J)
Hope our friendship will last longer..
I am sorry what i had done to you for the pass 6 months and 24 days ago...with that incident u kept your self in silent and there is a distant between you and me..It's really gave me one big impact in my life..With that period of time,there is no more sms or call from you..I miss all that..And i miss you...

YA ALLAH..TQ so much for helping me..

CICLE

Dalam hidup mesti tak pernah rasa kepuasan..tak kira kerja,duit dan kawan..

KAWAN...
Kata mak nak cari kawan biar yang betul.Sebab kawan boleh merosak kan kehidupan kita..bukan keluarga saja yang mencorak cara keperibadian kita..but kawan juga boleh mencorak keperibadian kita.Sebab tu lah dahulu mak selalu marah bila me tersalah kawan..Baru keluar main dengan anak jiran,sudah kena jerit balik rumah..me selalu juga memberontak..selalu juga terpikir kenapa mak tak pernah beri me kawan dengan anak-anak jiran..Dulu me ada kawan baik dekat rumah.Me panggil dia kak wan.Selalu hilang dari rumah,bukan ke mana,just pergi melepak dekat rumah kak Wan.She just 2 years older than me..tak tahu kenapa me suka berkawan dengan dia..nak kata orangnya pandai,tak lah pandai.After her's SRP,dia sudah bekerja..almaklum tak lulus SRP.Kak Wan bukan orang yang senang.Mak dia berniaga gula tarik..me selalu juga lihat mak dia buat gula tarik,but masa tu tak tefikir pula nak belajar.If me belajar kan bagus,cz boleh me buat for the new generation sekarang ni..Tau ker budak budak moden gula tarik..rasa tak tahu kot.Anyway bapa Kak wan ni pula kerja security guard saja..Tapi bila me fikir kan semasa berkawan dengan Kak Wan,tak pernah pula Kak Wan mengajar me benda yang bukan-bukan..Tapi me memang tak ingat apa yang kami buat..Paling tidak nya mungkin kami suka dengar lagu dan tulis lirik balik..Bila kak Wan sudah sibuk kerja,me tukar kawan..My kawan is my own class mate..Ita,Jaz,Roziah and Qiah..Masing-masing ada own attitude..but we all semua berkawan baik.Ada yang outstanding,yang lurus,yang lembab segala hal and ada jadi pengikut.Me and Ita yang paling outstanding.Jahat...mmmm memang standard jahat budak sekolah.Pernah me berpakat untuk cabut sekolah.Tapi me tak ingat bila.Me rasa at sec 4/5 me cabut sekolah.Cabut sekolah and lepas tu duduk dekat ita's boyfriend house.Apa kami buat pun tak tahu,but me ingat,we all lepak and sambung tidur..Masa tu me,Jaz,Roziah and Qiah memang tak ada boyfriend..Tak pernah pun terfikir untuk ada boyfriend masa sekolah..but sometime tipu juga if kata tak pernah fikir pasal lelaki..mmm sekali sekala tu ada lah dalam our topic..bila balik sekolah dekat bus stop nak balik ke rumah masing masing tu,terpusing juga mata kite oang 360 degree tengok boys..Anyway,Ita masa tu memang da ada boyfriend..boyfriend dia tu sekarang ni pun sudah jadi hubby dia and sudah ada anak 2 pun.2 boys...Masa me at sec 4,me ada juga kawan ngan satu boy ni,nama dia Raja Firhad.Me panggil dia Pit.Pit at lower 6 at EC masa tu..memang baik.Me terpikat pun coz dia prefect and sport man.Smart sangat.Tapi biasa la cinta monyet.After that me cabut lari tak mahu kawan.Dengar Pit masa tu sedih sangat coz me tinggal kan dia..but in the same time me ada heart clash dengan senior adik me.Nama dia Zainudin..Tak tau kenapa me suka sngat dekat dia.Everyweek me will send Hi note to him..tukang hantar note tu,kawan baik me masa tu Azmi...Azmi sekolah boy school..so me send that note thru Azmi..Sampai lah dia habis SPM.Zainudin 1 year older than me.Than cerita me and Zainudin habis macam tu saja..Selain my friends Ita,Jaz,Qiah and Roziah,me ada kawan lelaki yang rapat..Azmi,Rizal,Helmi and Fadhil as pengikut senior dia orang..Me sekolah perempuan,so bila balik sekolah,me wil jumpa kawan lelaki me tu semua dekat bus stop sungai Segget..Tempat lepak cuci mata..We all wil lepak dekat situ berejam jam...Tak tahu apa story yang we all bual kan..So dalam hidup me masa sekolah kawan me is Ita,Jaz,Qiah,Roziah,Azmi,Helmi,Rizal and Fadhil..Alhamdullillah kepada tuhan kawan kawan me bukan lah remaja yang jahat sangat dan hilang akhlak yang terlibat dengan rokok and dadah n masuk club..dan mereka semua ni pun dah ada very good career.Maksud nya,sejahat kami masa sekolah tak sampai memudarat kan masa depan kami..Kalau lah me dapat balik kezaman tu..me rasa me paling happy sekali..
Masa me sibuk dengan kawan kawan sekolah dulu..My mother kerja..so mak masa tu tak lah dapat tahu apa activity me.Memang mak tahu dengan siapa me berkawan.Tapi sebab dia sibuk berkerja so kurang lah mak beleter nak menyekat me berkawan..

So bila me duduk sorang sorang dekat rumah and termenung tengok blog me ni,tetiba me terfikir pasal kenapa lah mak marah bila me berkawan dengan salah orang..Ini lah hikmah nya bila me sudah dewasa dan hidup sendiri.Bukan saja keluarga dapat mencorak kan peribadi kita..Tapi kawan-kawan pun sama..dan me terfikir,kawan adalah orang yang paling dekat dengan kita...So cicle of friends tu memang penting...

Sekarang ni dalam usia yang boleh dikata kan dewasa me kena berhati-hati memilih kawan sebab mak dah tak menyekat lagi dengan siapa me berkawan.Tugas mak sudah pencen untuk ingat and nak ajar me supaya jangan salah pilih kawan..Dan dalam masa yang sama dan perjalanan hidup me memang tak nafi kan me ada tersalah pilih kawan yang membawa me pada perkara yang tak berfaedah,mengarut,dan menjatuh kan akhlak..Alhamdullilah sekali lagi,berkat doa mak kepada anak-anaknya selamat,me terselamat dari segalanya walaupun sosial hidup didepan mata.

Untuk seketika,me menangis....me menangis kenapa me masih tak tahu macam mana nak menghargai kawan-kawan yang baik..me tinggalkan mereka..me sakit kan hati mereka.Tapi akan tetap berusaha untuk kembali kepada mereka...

Jiwa me dan semangat me hilang bila me berkawan dengan orang-orang yang (macam mana nak explain).Nampak memang happy..mereka ketawa,me ikut ketawa..dia org enjoy,me pun ikut sama,but mana matlamat mereka..Aduh sampai bila untuk me bersama mereka.Me menangis lagi..Me tak mahu hidup macam tu..Dunia memang moden..Tapi jiwa me..hati me..diri me..moden ker..me tak mahu semua itu..Apa yang me hendak di dalam dunia ini adalah KEBAHAGIAN..me mahu kebahagian..Itu saja..

#YA ALLAH..engkau lindungi aku..berikan aku kebahagian yang aku cari..beri kan aku kawan yang tidak menyesatkan aku...semoga engkau perkenan kan doa ku...#

PERLUKAH

Perlukah aku perlu melihat dengan mata hatiku..Perlukah aku melihat apa yang tersirat jauh di lubuk hati mereka..dan perlukah aku mendengar suara hati mereka...
Untuk aku fahami segalanya...mmmmm.

DI MANA

Di manakah semangat ku hilang...

Tak pernah selama ini TERFIKIR diri ini mempunyai semangat dan tak pernah TERASA diri ini mempunyai semangat..apa yang rasa adalah hati dan jiwa..
YA ALLAH..bila semangat ku hilang,diri terasa teramat lemah..bila semangat ku hilang,jiwa ku kosong,bila semangat ku hilang hati ku lemah...
Di mana semangat ku hilang...

YA ALLAH sujud ku kepada mu meminta ketenangan diri..Sujud ku juga meminta agar engkau mengapunkan dosa ibu dan bapa ku..Sujud ku juga meminta engkau mengapunkan dosa adik beradik ku..dan sujud ku juga engkau ampuni dosa ku...Tidak ku minta kekayaan dunia..segalanya cuma keampunan diri..mungkin sujud ku selama ini,aku lupa meminta semangat diri ke atas diri ku..Kebahagian ibu dan adik beradik selama ini telah engkau berikan dan engkau buka mata ku untuk aku melihat segala-galanya..tetapi...
Di manakah semangat ku hilang

YA ALLAH...di mana silapnya diri ku..di mana kurangnya diri ku..di mana kebahagian yang aku inginkan...di mana dan di mana hilangnya.Segalanya membuat semangat ku hilang dan lemah..

YA ALLAH...di mana kah semangat ku...
Kerana aku terasa amat lemah.....

BERTEMAN SEPI

Penaku menari mencoretkan
Sebuah puisi kelukaan
Gurindam jiwa
Cinta dan airmata
Di kamar hati ini
Masih ada sembunyi
Kenangan yang tak mampu
Ku lemparkan jauh

Penaku menari melakarkan
Gambar kesayuan masa silam
Tinta bersulam biru
Warna kerinduan
Berkaca jernih ingatanku
Biarpun dikau telah jauh
Dari pandanganku

Manisnya pertemuan
Pahitnya perpisahan
Segala kini tidak dapat
Untukku bahasakan
Semua kini kaku
Tiada lagu merdu
Setiap madah baris kata
Bukannya lagi buatmu

Kini berteman sepi
Kini aku sendiri
Suka dan duka
Dalam meniti gelombang
Kembara panjang

Jauh melangkah pergi
Tidak menoleh lagi
Kenangan silamku
Tinggal tertulis kini
Dalam sebuah puisi

Penaku menari membariskan
Puisi sebuah pengalaman
Gurindam jiwa cinta dan airmata
Di kamar sepi ini
Titisan membasahi
Dan aku tidak tahu
Pada siapakah untukku luah rasa

KEBESARAN MU

Kau tempatku mengadu hati
Memberi segala hidup
Dunia dan seisinya milik-Mu
Mencintai-Mu sejati

Ku manusia yang penuh dosa
Berharap ampunan-Mu
Lihat di langit kesempurnaan hati-Mu
Kau cinta pertama dalam hidup

Allahu Akbar Maha Besar
Memuja-Mu begitu indah
Selalu Kau berikan semua
Kebesaran-Mu Tuhan

13th JULY 2010

~13th July 2010~

....I am sorry.....

MAHA MELIHAT

Seiring waktu berlalu
Tangisan tawa di nafasku
Hitam putih di hidupku
Jalan di takdirku

Tiada satu tersembunyi
Tiada satu yang terlupa
Segala apa yang terjadi
Engkaulah saksinya

Kau yang Maha Mendengar
Kau yang Maha Melihat
Kau yang Maha Pemaaf
PadaMu hati bertaubat

Kau yang Maha Pengasih
Kau yang Maha Mengasihani
Kau yang Maha Pelindung
PadaMu semua bergantung

Yang dicinta 'kan pergi
Yang didamba 'kan hilang
Hidup kan terus berjalan
Meski penuh dengan tangisan

Andai bisa ku mengulang
Waktu hilang dan terbuang
Andai bisa ku kembali
Hapus semua pedih

Andai mungkin aku bisa
Kembali semula segalanya
Tapi hidup takkan bisa
Meski dengan air mata

My Doa ~everyday~

~Allah, Allahu robbi laa usyrika bihi syai-a~

“Allah, Allah Tuhanku. Aku tidak akan menyekutukan-Nya dengan apapun”

(Allah, Allah is my Lord. I would not associate him with anything)

HARI KUSUT MASAI

Aduhhhhh...Boringnyer bila sorang-sorang kat rumah...

~LINDA(housemate I ketika umur 30an)-mmmm dia pergi kerja,10 hari tinggal kan rumah...Selalu bila I balik kerja dia ada...Linda lah teman for luahkan segala story mories yang tak penting..gossip gossip semasa..story yang dah tahu,di repeat balik..tak penah penat mulut ni cerita POT PET POT PET KELEPETTT..Siapa lagi yang menjadi si penukang dengar..Rasa telinga dia dah sebesar kawah kot...Linda lah juga orang yang biasa kena marah dengan I..Apa ke tak nyer,ambil barang tak tau letak balik..Kalau lah rumah ni ada remote control yang boleh menyimpan segala barang-barang yang Linda selerak kan,bahagia hidup''heaven''..and Linda juga, tempat I berhubung kesatu tempat, kesatu tempat yang lain..Dalam erti kata bahasa lain,Pilot tanpa gaji..heeheh..(jangan marah Linda,nanti J pi ambil licence k~

~Mel-kuang kuang kuang..(ex-housemate I masa umur 20an) -mana lak dia pi...Rasa-rasa kerja..But tak tau pergi mana..if not, sure dia dah call I,ajak jalan-jalan...Almaklum I ni ala-ala manusia yang always free all the time..(PS:pernah mengadakan perang dingin time housemate dulu)



~Fadzlin(ex-housemate masa umur akhir 20an)-hhehehe the only friend yang off hari sabtu ahad..Standard procedure friday night sure will call me..Undangan sana sini..but mmmmm malam ni rasa malas pulak nak join dia...Sorry fadzlin..I tak ada mood...(lepas tu I menyesal sampai pagi..)

....Back to my story tadi about Linda,She's my housemate after Mel...housemate yang tak penah ada rasa marah and always kata 'YES'..OH ya...she's gedik too...Only with me jer...Anyway bila dia tak ada kat rumah ni,rasa sunyi lak..Tak tau nak buat apa.. my FB dah berkali-kali sign-in and log-out..BOSAN..
But yang penting I sudah berjaya menyelerak kan rumah ni without Linda..and me dah berjaya membuang masa membuat kerja-kerja without motive and I rasa tak terbuang juga my time bila sorang-sorang kat rumah...

~CONTOHNYA DI BAWAH NI IS MY KERJA-KERJA MENJELAJAH SERATA RUMAH :)

My baju yang tak unpack
BY JEHAN

Dining table yang berjaya di messy kusut masaikan
BY JEHAN

Barang yang dibeli,tidak di kemas
BY LINDA

Gelas yang tidak dibasuh since 26/5 when linda pergi kerja
BY LINDA

Baju yang diambil from laundry yang tidak dilipat
BY LINDA


Kotak-kotak yang tidak pernah dikemas since pindah
BY LINDA

Asam yang menjadi perhiasan di bilik Linda
BY LINDA


THIS ROOM SAJA YANG I TAK SEMPAT DI HURU-HARA KAN

BY JEHAN

PINTU RINDU

Telah ku daki puncak tertinggi..
Telahku turun lembah dan gurun..
Tidak ku temu mana pintu mu..
Untukku seru rasa rinduku..
Telah ku daki puncak tertinggi..
Telahku turun lembah dan gurun..
Sungguh ku buta dalam cahaya..
Sungguh ku lupa tika bahagia..
Sedang kau dekat bukan dimata..
Sentuhku erat di pinggir jiwa..
Sedang kau dekat di pinggir jiwa..
Biarkan airmata melimpah..
Biarkan luluh cinta tercurah..
Segala kasih rindu tertumpah..
Seluruh hati aku berserah..

Ya Allah....

Ku tunggu waktu bila bertemu..
Hidup matiku hanya untukmu..

YA RASULULLAH.

Ya Rasulullah
Alangkah indahnya hidup ini
Andai dapat kutatap wajahmu
Kan pasti mengalir air mataku
Kerna pancaran ketenanganmu

Alangkah indahnya hidup ini
Andai dapat kukucup tanganmu
Moga mengalir keberkatan dalam diriku
Untuk mengikut jejak langkahmu

Ya Rasulullah Ya Habiballah
Tak pernah kutatap wajahmu
Ya Rasulullah Ya Habiballah
Kami rindu padamu
Allahumma Solli Ala Muhammad
Ya Rabbi Solli Alaihi Wasallim

Alangkah indahnya hidup ini
Andai dapat kudakap dirimu
Tiada kata yang dapat aku ucapkan
Hanya tuhan saja yang tahu

Kutahu cintamu kepada umat
Umati kutahu bimbangnya kau tentang kami
Syafaatkan kami
Alangkah indahnya hidup ini
Andai dapat kutatap wajahmu

Kan pasti mengalir air mataku
Kerna pancaran ketenanganmu
Ya Rasulullah Ya Habiballah
Terimalah kami sebagai umatmu
Ya Rasulullah Ya Habiballah
Kurniakanlah syafaatmu

THE END...

If I keep myself busy
I won't think about you
I won't think about love;
Dreams that won't come true
I won't think of the memories
That I'll never relive
Never think of the love
That I've left to give
If I keep myself busy
Maybe I won't feel pain
'cause alone to think
My tears fall like rain...

YA ALLAH,BERIKAN KU HIDAYAH DI ATAS IMAN YNG LEMAH...

YA ALLAH..BAGAIMANA INGINKU MENGADU KEPADA MU,SEDANGKAN SEMUANYA TIDAK PERNAH TERSEMBUNYI DARI MU..BAGAIMANA INGINKU JELASKAN SEGALA URUSAN KU,SEDANGKAN SEGALA GALANYA DATANG DARI MU..

Sepi benar senja ini,Bayunya semilir, menganak ombak kecil,Jalur ufuk pula mengemas terang,Kapal dan layar terkapar..
Mengapa nantikan senja,Barukan terdetik, pulang ke pengkalan,Gusar malam menghampiri,
Ku tewas di lautan..
Tuhan layarkanku ke arah cintaMu,Tuntuniku menggapai redhaMu,Rimbunan kasihMu ku berteduh,KepadaMu ya Tuhan,Berikan secebis keinsafan,Bekalan sepanjang perjalanan,
Mencari ketenangan..
Biar Kau menjadi saksi,Tulus tangisku kala dini hari,Kesempatan yang hanya sebentar,
Moga keikhlasanku terlakar,Berikanlah ku hidayah,Agar dikuatkan iman yang lemah..
Harapanku moga dikurniakan,Manisnya iman berpanjangan,Moga lautan hilang gelora..
Moga diberkati hidup ini,Menuju bahagia yang kekal abadi..
PadaMu Tuhan..
Kan kuserahkan cinta kepadaMu..

YANG KU TAHU CINTA ITU INDAH

Tak Pernah Aku Membayangkannya
Bila Insan Sedang Patah Hati,
Kali Ini Ku Rasakan Sesungguhnya
Siang Hariku Bagaikan Malam,
Pelangipun Berwarnakan Kelam,
Inikah Yang Dinamakan Patah Hati
**Tak Ingin Kujalani Cinta Yang Begini,
Yang Kutahu Cinta Itu Indah,
Tak Ingin Kurasakan Jiwa Yang Tak Tenang,
Kumau Kau Tetap Disisiku,**
Dan Tak Ingin Kurasakan Jiwa Yang Tak Tenang,
Kumau Kau Tetap Disisiku....

DOA ku...

YA ALLAH! Forgive me those sins, which tear apart modesty.
YA ALLAH! Forgive me those sins, which bring down misfortunes.
YA ALLAH! Forgive me those sins, which alter blessings.
YA ALLAH! Forgive me those sins, which hold back supplication.
YA ALLAH! Forgive me those sins, which cut down hopes.
YA ALLAH! Forgive me those sins, which bring down distress.
YA ALLAH! Forgive me every sin that I have committed, and every mistake that I have made.
YA ALLAH! I ask You by Your might, not to let my ugly deeds and acts conceal my supplication from You, not to disgrace me by exposing what is secret of my (acts), which (only) You are aware of, ... My God and my Protector! You have laid on me rules (to follow), but I followed my own whims. ... I come to You, My God, after my shortcoming, ... I do not find any way out from what I have done, nor any place of refuge to turn to about my affairs, other than Your acceptance of my apology, and Your entering me into the range of Your mercy.
YA ALLAH! Therefore, accept my apology, have mercy upon the severity of my affliction, and free me from the tightness of my chains.
AMIINNN

ALONE AGAIN...

Empty room...

Empty heart …
No friends around …
Just tune to a sad love song (MATAHARIKU by Agnes) …

:)...
Bad poem, isn’t it? Yeah it is. The sad love songs part- is true, but they can’t make me sad. I already decided not to leave any space for sadness inside. (Yeah, man no vacancy for you #%@$!!!). All space was already lodged in by the "yippy kaiy yee" and "boink .. boink" feelings.(Thanks to PPI, same PPI in different stand … gosshh those coincidences) Rossa, Tommy Page, Michael W Smith, Agnes,Kriss and Richard Marx come on! Give me your best shot!

I MISS YOU

You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from heaven
You'd hold me close in your arms

I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you

You used to call me your dreamer
And now I'm living out my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that's happening for me
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that time is flying by too fast

I know you're in a better place
But I wish that I could see your face
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

I MISS YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY..

IN MY MIND..

AKU WANITA BIASA-by Kris Dayanti

Aku ini Wanita Biasa
Bisa Sakit Luka Karena Cinta
Dingin Sepi Kerap Menyapa
Air Mata Jatuh Lukisan Raga
Kadang ku Kuat Setegar Karang
Kadang ku Rapuh Lemah Liar Merana
Maafkan Aku Bila Hasratku Keliru
Sulut Gairah Jiwamu
ku Yang Dosakan Cinta Kekasih
Maafkan Aku
Bila Hasratku Keliru
Sulut Gairah Jiwamu
ku Yang Dosakan Cinta Kekasih Hatiku
Kekasih Hatiku Maafkan Aku
aku Wanita Biasa
Dingin Sepi Kerap Menyapa
Air Mata Jatuh Lukisan Raga
Kadang ku Kuat Setegar Karang
Kadang ku Rapuh Lemah Liar Merana
Maafkan Aku Bila Hasratku Keliru
Sulut Gairah Jiwamu
ku Yang Dosakan Cinta Kekasih
Maafkan Aku Bila Hasratku Keliru
Sulut Gairah Jiwamu
ku Yang Dosakan Cinta Kekasih Hatiku
Maafkan Aku...

YA ALLAH...

All praises are for you Allah, how I hope that you are there. For sinful though I know I am, your displeasure I can not bear. Never, till this moment, did I realize how much I’ve strayed. Never, till now, was I more conscious of all those times when I should have prayed. For sins are like heavy baggage, that one carries through Life, the airport. Why didn’t I realize sooner, that Earth is but a place of sport?

YA ALLAH! Forgive me. Save me from the fire of Hell. Forgive me as you did my parents, from Jann’ah though they fell. Ya Allah! Protect me. From myself for my soul is weak. Let me not falter ever, for Jann’ah is the abode I seek.

YA ALLAH! Please help me. For I don’t understand and thus, I fear. What happened to all those moments when I never doubted that you were near? My actions once were guided, by my faith which, once, was strong.

YA ALLAH! please guide me . What happened, what went wrong? Each footstep that I used to take, I took with you ever near my side. The Quran was my faithful companion, Rasoolallah my beloved guide. How I yearn for those bygone days Allah, for I know that the day comes near. When we’ll each receive our just rewards, and Truth will stand sparkling clear.
Life is like a spider’s web Allah. We get caught in its tricky snare. So thoroughly are we disillusioned, time for salat we can not spare. I sit here and I wonder, Ya Allah! Why did I fall so low? What happened to my faith Allah? Where did my Iman go?
In this earthly life of ours, so often does sin seem right. Falsehood seems to be the truth, as if days are confused with night. Man is an imperfect creature. And thus, Man shall always wrong. For the road to Jann’ah is rocky, and the journey seems awfully long.

YA ALLAH! Our creator, we are all just pieces of clay. Please help us with our steps in life, and let us not lose our way. All praises are for you Allah, I know that you are near. I know that you have read my heart, and my words I know you hear. Takabal Allah Meen Kom.
La Ellah Ha Ella Allah, Muhammaddur Rasullul Allah.

21ST JAN 2010..no of 33

Ya Allah,no tongue is capable of expressing thanks to You.There is no shore to the ocean of Your grace.The mystery of Your Reality is not revealed to anyone.Lead me on that road than which none is better.Ya Allah,take me by the hand,for I have nothing to present to You.Accept me,for I am unable to flee.Open a door,for You open all doors.Show the way, for You show all ways.I give my hand to no helper,for all are transitory.Only You abide forever.Ya Allah!Grant me protection that I may dwell in the lane of Your love..and again there is no tongue capable of uttering thanks to You when im still can touch the no of 33...
Ya Allah, how weak and helpless I feel right now.Ya Allah,there is no knowledge that I possess except for what you allow me.I am in such a helpless stage Ya Allah.Help me and give me an ideas on how to solve EVERYTHING....give me a strenght..help me.


p/s:Sedihnye..

BUKU GLAMOUR

I just bought her at kinokuniya bookstore last week.. The moment i saw 'her' i got so excited ''Wah comel nyer dia'' as I'm so fanatic about Audrey Hepburn and 100% thought it's all about Audrey.But I'm totally wrong(NOT ABOUT HER)..Then("huh" a light bulb went on in my head-ablaze)..And since this book looks pretty cute so i decided it to just grab and pay..And honestly ,HOW TO BE A HERPBURN IN A HILTON WORLD is pretty cute book i ever had..In HOW TO BE A HEPBURN IN A HILTON WORLD,Ms christy shows women how,in this guide to glamorous style,professional success and true love in classy way and not just a 'stupid girl'.It contains lots of valuable advice including portions of "he's just not into you" advice and so you know when to walk away from a man without waiting from him to DUMP you :)..invaluable..(only RM66.63)

MY LOVE THEME SONG

And again my love theme song at these moment...

*COULD I HAVE THIS KISS FOREVER*
by ENRIQUE IGLESIAS feat. WHITNEY HOUSTON
Over and over,I look in ur eyes
You were all i desire
You have captured me
I want to hold you
I want to be close to you
I never want to let go
I wish that this night would never end
I need to know

Could i hold you for a lifetime?
Could i look into ur eyes?
Could i have this night to share this night together?
Could i hold you close beside me?
Could i hold you for all time?
Could i,could i have this kiss forever?

Over and over i've dreamed of this night
Now you're here by my side
You are next to me
I want to hold you
And touch you and taste you
And make you want no one but me
I wish that this kiss could never end,no no
Oh baby please..

And what's ur love song..

MY 2009 THEME SONG

So....given the day job for my self at home,I just have to blog about some great music today and googling Hey Ladies lyrics.Here are,in no particular order my recommendations for this end of the year 2009 musics too...

I have chosen sweet thing by ROSSA as for this month's song..Why? Because it's awesome...

*HEY LADIES*

Sudah ku bilang jangan terlalu yakin

Mulut lelaki banyak juga tak jujur

Bila sakit hati wanita bisanya nangis

Sudah ku bilang jangan terlalu cinta

Kalau patah hati siapa mau tolong

Seperti langit dan matahari tak bersatu lagi

Hey ladies jangan mau dibilang lemah

Kita juga bisa menipu dan mendua kan

Bila wanita sudah beraksi dunia hancur

Hei ladies,sekarang cinta pakai otak

Jangan mau rugi hati dan juga rugi waktu

Bila dia merayumu, ingat semuanya bohong

Memang lah tak semua laki laki busuk

Namun ladies tetaplah harus waspada

Semogalah kita semua akhirnya

Mendapat cinta yang tulus...

**Past theme songs include:**

1. Pakai buang by Stacy

2. Trouble is a friend by Lenka

3. Dangerous and sweet by Lenka

4. I dreamed and dream by Susan Boyle

WHAT'S UR THEME SONG?

MY BURNING LIFE

Sitting alone..in darkness room.. accept 1 candle burning sat properly on my hand together listening to my fav music by Rossa..I sang along with Rossa..My fav singer...And suddenly there was a voice...whispering...

The voice was near in my hand ..mmmmm..i am holding a candle..burning..beautiful flickering...

"who are you?What are you?"

"I'm a candle"...

I looked at the candle i was holding,it was burning golden flame sat on my hand..i lifted up the candle to take a closer look..

Ahhh...I was beyond feeling awkward about talking to a candle and was getting miffed.CRAZY JEHAN..mmm im talking to my self alone..Then again i started to concentrate at Rossa..

Every time when I'm listening to Rossa's song,i will cry..cry deep inside my heart."hey ladies,Hati yang kau sakiti,Terlanjur cinta,Tega,Keajaiban cinta,Kecewa,1000 malam,Impas,Tak akan berpaling darimu and Aku bukan untuk mu is my fav.All these song are about love and life..

Talking bout life and love here...Sometimes people come into ur life and you know right away that they were to be there,to serve some sort of purpose,teach you a lesson or to help you or to figure out who you are or who you want to become...YES you never know who these people..maybe ur housemate,bestfriend,co-worker,lover or even a complete stranger.But when you lock eyes with them,you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way..And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible,painful,lost and unfair at first..But in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your strength,will power or heart.everything happens for a reason.Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck.Illness,love,lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.Without these small test,whatever they may be,life would be like a smoothly paved,straight,flat road to no where.If someone hurts you,betrays you,breaks you heart..forgive them..For they have helped you learned about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart..

If someone loves you,love them back unconditionally,not only because they love you,but because in a way,they are teaching you to love or to open your heart and eyes to things...Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possible can for you may never be able to experience it again.HMMMMM

Hah..I'm almost forgot of my candle just now..still alive,patiently burning waiting beside me..

Before that- i light my candle,melting it clear..my candle burns yellow,blue and white..i keep it going all through the night..sometimes it flickers,moving in torrid patterns,circling and dwindling,flame wanes then rises up again.Springing form what you thought was no more.It keeps on fighting melting wax as time goes by...THE CANDLE IS ME AND IT IS I...

TROUBLE IS A FRIEND BY LENKA

Trouble will find you no matter where you go, oh oh
No matter if you're fast no matter if you're slow, oh oh
The eye of the storm and the cry in the morn, oh oh
Your fine for a while but then start to loose control

He's there in the dark,he's there in my heart
He waits in the winds he's gotta play a part
Trouble is a friend
Yeah trouble is a friend of mine. oh oh!

Trouble is a friend but trouble is a foe, oh oh
And no matter what I feed him he always seems to grow, oh oh
He see's what I see and he know's what I know, oh oh
So don't forget as you ease on down the road

He's there in the dark,he's there in my heart
He waits in the winds,he's gotta play a part
Trouble is a friend
Yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh


So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm
I won't let him win but im a sucker for his charm
Trouble is a friend,yeah trouble is a friend of mine Oh oh!


Oh How I hate the way he makes me feel
And How I try to make him leave;
I try. Oh Oh I TRY!!!

NAUGHTY CRUSH

Everyone knows the anxious or excited feelings that accompany a new crush. There is the nervousness about when you will see him/her. Will you be prepared or will you get flustered? When you talk to him/her, will you trip over your words or sound cool and collected? Should you flirt or play it cool? How interested should you be in him/her? Can you tell if they are interested in you? And what does the future hold for you and the crush?

I love having an early phase crush. This a crush of the type I described above. It's a crush that hasn't been too developed so there is still some mystery and excitement surrounding all crush encounters. When a crush goes bad, then it just becomes a painful reminder of what you can't have. That's the latter phase crush, the one you know is not interested in you. It becomes even worse if he/she knows about your crush (Aaaahh so malu of that), but does not have the same level of interest.Sad.. For the most part, it's a good thing. It's a terrific distraction, one I've been needing to get my mind off other mans who are bad for me. And it's fun thinking about the 'What ifs' of the crush.I won't lie, I got the butterfly,nervous,excited flutter in my stomach as soon i saw his face...

I’ve got a major crush on this man:
it’s the dimples
and those lick-em-up lips–
and have had the hots for him
Dark hair
perfect skin
enchanting smile
glowing like an angel
my heart beats faster as he beating his drums
to shy to say only to find out....he was my first crush:SHAWN...



P.S:Razlan and linda..Tq for helping me last night..Both of you are so cool....I am going to miss his face and the way he beat his drum..No more staring...and no more curi pandang ..hahaha it is so nice sometime being a bit naughty right..-WILL KEEP THAT FACE IN MY MEMORY BOX FOREVER..
Fazlin...huh..cool too.."sampai pagi"..

ONCE UPON A TIME WHEN I FALLING IN LOVE...Everything was so wonderful on me..

WANNA TO KNOW ME BETTER..

Gosh...It's all true bout me.Totally all me.Never thought all that is like 90% true..

Aquarius woman horoscope

The Aquarius woman is electric, she has the ability to "electrocute" anyone who comes into direct contact with her. In common language, you could say that she is shocking.

Unpredictable, original, uninhibited, intelligent, resourceful and ready to invent anything, from a faster needle to a boat like those in Mahabharata (the famous Indian epic), the Aquarius woman is the dream of any man who wants an exciting relationship.

The Aquarius woman has beautiful eyes("Hah!that is what shagul told me before..he said my eyes is my pointer"), like nobody else’s. Few people can look at her for more than a few seconds. Regardless of their colour, they have something special, their light comes from another galaxy and penetrates many worlds.

The negligence about her outfit can be charming in itself. The Aquarius woman makes unexpected combinations between old and new, between things that she puts on at random and things that she has been looking for at luxury stores for days. They can underline her cylinder-shaped body, no matter if she has a slim or a plump body.

Aquarius woman horoscope by Linda Goodman
But Alice had got so much into the -way
of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen
that it seemed quite dull and stupid
for life to go on in the common way ...
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea- And welcome Queen Alice with thirty times three!
The safest way to enter into romance with an Aquarian female is to remember she's as paradoxical in love as she is in everything else. That way, you won't be expecting Priscilla Alden and get Pocahontas.

This girl has all the faithfulness of the fixed signs when die's in love, but she also has the detachment and lack of emotion of the air element. It's possible to have a happy relationship with the Uranus woman if you leave her free to pursue her myriad interests and circulate among her friends. Never try to tie her to the stove or the bedpost. Ask the man who's tried. She can suddenly decide to study ballet, meditate in the mountains or join the Peace Corps. Remember the story of the princess with the long, golden hair who lived high in a tower? That's the Aquarius fe­male. Cutting off her flowing tresses won't change her any more than it did in the fairy tale. She dreams different dreams than you or I. She hears a distant drummer-and follows a star most of us have never seen.

She belongs to everyone, and yet to no one. Her love can be tender and inspired, but there will always be a vaguely elusive quality about it, like a half-remembered song. You can hum the melody, but the lyrics keep slipping away. The Aquarian girl's demand for freedom is insistent, but her allegiance to anyone who can accept romance with­in such limits is boundless. Here's something you'll like:

She won't be terribly interested in your bank book (unless Cancer or Capricorn or Taurus is on her ascendant) ("True true and totally true") . Money is never the prime consideration of the typical Aquarian woman. She won't care if you're not the richest man in town, but she'll expect you to be respected in some way for your intellectual achievements. Dr. Christian Bamard and his heart transplants or Wemher von Braun and his rockets interest her far more than J. Paul Getty and his billions.

When you set out to catch this butterfly in your net, remember that she'll never spend her unpredictable life with a man who isn't true to himself. Her own code of ethics may be as weird as anything you've ever come across, and quite different from the accepted codes of society, but she lives up to it totally. She'll understand that your rules may also be highly individual. That's fine with her, but don't compromise those rules. If you're looking for a passion flower, you've picked the wrong daisy. Passion is not her forte if she's a typical Aquarian. She'll think physi­cal love is pleasant enough, if it's not overemphasized. In other words, she can take it or leave it alone. Uranus fe­males can respond to lovemaking with a haunting, deep intensity, but if you prefer to keep it platonic for long periods of time, that's all right, too. Like all Aquarians, she may have an unconscious fear that desire for one per­son will imprison the spirit in some way, and keep her from being true to her one great love-freedom. Freedom to ex­periment and investigate and freedom to give time to hu­manity. Also freedom to pursue her rather kicky, off-beat fancies.

She's an ideal girl if you're planning a political, scientific or educational career. You couldn't do better, unless you happen to run across an Aquarian girl with adverse planetary positions in her natal chart who enjoys shock­ing people by walking barefoot down Main Street or smok­ing big black cigars on buses. There are some pretty wild, way-out Uranian females here and there. But the average girl born under the sign of the water bearer is a social delight. She's graceful, witty, bright as a penny, and ex­tremely adaptable to all forms of society, high and low and in the middle.

Her lack of suspicion under normal circumstances is a special bonus. A traveling salesman should find his dream girl in the typical Aquarian female. If she actually catches you being unfaithful, it will cause a deep wound to her sensitive nature. You'll know it the minute you look into those strange, dreamy eyes("Hah!again yes it me") . But she won't suspect you without cause, and she'll rarely doubt your word. The typical Uranus woman will never check up on you after you leave, phone you at the office, inspect your handker­chiefs for lipstick stains or look for blonde hairs caught in your cuff link. Deception will have to be brought forcibly to her attention; she won't go out looking for it. Before you give her too much credit, consider that her lack of pas­sionate jealousy is due to something more than strength of character. First of all, she probably dissected your psyche under a microscope before she gave you a second glance. Besides, she has so many outside interests and so many people who turn her on to talk with, there's not much time for her to worry about what you're doing when you're out of sight. Out of sight can often mean out of mind for Aquarians of both sexes. Absence seldom makes the Uranus heart grow fonder. Occasionally, an Aquarian woman will suffer a promiscuous or flirtatious mate, be­cause there's something she needs which she can find only with him, so she looks the other way. On the other hand, if she doesn't really need you, that moral strength will work in reverse at the first actual proof of infidelity. Shell simply walk away. Don't try to kindle the embers, they're stone cold dead. Of course, you can still be friends. Why not?

She's willing. It never embarrasses an. Aquarian girl to be chummy with ex-lovers or husbands. She's forgotten the past and wiped the slate clean of memories.("...^_^")

There is one peculiar and notable exception to the rule. Like the Uranus man, the Uranian female will remember the first true and honest love for a lifetime. Only the first, however. Are you wondering whether that Aquarius girl you once knew still remembers you?("Am i") The answer lies in her definition of love. It could have something to do with the first boy who gave her a bunch of sweet peas when she was nine-the boy who walked her through the park in the rain-or the one with the funny ears who knew the clown at the circus, and used to feed her peanuts.

Uranus women involved in extra-marital affairs are rare. They can be tempted in exceptional situations, but a dis­honest relationship goes against their chemistry. It won't be long until an undercover romance is broken off for good. Yet, there are many Aquarian divorcees("HAH!panic panic..very bad hehehe"). There's a reason. If a situation becomes intolerable, the Uranian nature turns cold suddenly. They can disappear overnight, and never look back. They don't seek or enjoy divorce, but it isn't the shock to them it is to their more sentimental sisters. Uranus rules change, you know. Since she's such an individualist, with a list of friends several miles long, the Aquarian female never hesitates to make her way alone if the need arises.

Expect her to probe into your heart until you haven't a secret left, or a dream that hasn't been analyzed. But don't try to dissect her private thoughts. That's not the way the game is played with Aquarians. She'll keep her motives hidden, and sometimes take a perverse pleasure in de­liberately confusing you. She'll usually be truthful to a fault, but remember, with an Aquarian, telling a lie is one thing. Refraining from telling the whole story is another.

It's comforting to know that an Aquarian girl is pretty cagey with a buck. That is, it's comforting to know unless you're planning to hit her for a loan. She might say yes a time or two, but if you let your credit rating slip, she can be colder than the guy at the bank when you skip your car payment. On the rare occasions when she ac­cepts a small loan herself, you'll get back every penny with no stalling, excuses or feminine wiles, if she's a typical Uranus female. As for every man's nightmare of charge accounts, you'll have little worry on that score. Aquarian women are uncomfortable about owing money. Bad debts don't fit in with the Uranus code.

Her appearance is puzzling. Most Aquarian women are lovely, with a haunting, wistful beauty. But they're change­able. They can give an impression of smooth whipped cream, then suddenly switch to salty pizza as quickly as a bright, blue, zig-zag bolt of Uranian electricity. Next to Ubrans, Aquarian females are often the most beautiful women in the zodiac. At the very least, they're interesting-looking. The Aquarian manner of dressing can stop you dead in your tracks. There are a few of them who could grace the cover of a fashion magazine, but the average Aquarian girl is anything but conventional about her cos­tumes. She can wear some outfits a gypsy would envy, and her naked individuality can produce some mighty unique combinations. She'll usually be the first to wear a new fad, no matter how zany it is, yet she can also stick to Grand­ma's styles-even great-grandma's styles. With typical - Aquarian indifference, she'll mix yesterday's lace snood with today's metallic jump suit, and the effect can be a little startling. She'll wear her lace nightgown to a formal ban­quet, ostrich feathers to the supermarket, bell bottom slacks to the opera, sneakers to the theater, diamonds when she visits the zoo-and top it all off with a faded Mother Hubbard she picked up in a thrift shop.

Your Aquarian girl will probably have an unusual way of wearing her hair. Her tresses are as unpredictable as her personality. They can be worn braided, pig-tailed, pinned in a bun, flowing down like a waterfall, short as a marine's, in Mary Pickford curls or as straight as a poker. One thing you can depend on. Her hair won't look like the hair of any other female on this planet.

A conversation with her can be remarkable, to say the least. She has charming manners, and usually behaves in a timid, almost reserved way. Then comes one of those sudden Uranus urges, and out will pop a remark with absolutely no relation to what anyone is saying. You'll be talking about the fluctuations of the stock market, and she'll interrupt out of nowhere with: "Did you know that Woodrow Wilson, Jack Kennedy, Herbert Hoover, Harry Truman, Calvin Coolidge, Benjamin Harrison, Franklin and Theodore Roosevelt and William McKinley all have double letters in their names?" There's only one way to answer a question like that. Tell her she missed Millard

Fillmore, Ulysses Grant and Thomas Jefferson. Then gen­tly, but firmly, lead the discussion back to the stock market. Other minds may progress in fairly logical steps, but hers rigs into tomorrow, then zags back into today with no more sense of direction than a flash of lightning. Now and then she'll toss off an unexpectedly poignant phrase. You'll ask her what she thinks of space travel and she'll answer, "When I was a little girl, I thought the stars were holes in the floor of heaven where the light shone through." If she's in a different mood, you'll say that melted snowmen make you sad, and shell counter with: "A melted snowman is just a pile of slush, Charlie." First misty-then practical. First timid-then rowdy. Aquarian women will rudely ridicule flying saucers, then tell you a story about a polka-dotted elf on a windowsill. Never talk down to an Aquarian female. She'll resent not being considered your equal, and an unsympathetic attitude will cause her to retreat and become unapproachable.

Since Uranus rules the future, you might imagine that these girls would be natural mothers. Children do, after all, belong to the future. But the average Aquarian woman may be bewildered by motherhood in the beginning. She has to adjust to devoting all her attention and energy ex­clusively to one human being for a period of time, when she's used to spreading herself far and wide, and this can take some practice. Her natural aloofness may make it difficult for her to demonstrate warm affection outwardly. The typical Aquarian mother is devoted to her offspring, but also somewhat detached toward them. But shell prob­ably be the most willing PTA worker in the neighborhood. She'll talk happily for hours with their small friends on their own level without patronizing them, and she'll give up her afternoons to work for a school project. The chil­dren will learn the lessons of brotherhood and humanity from her by observation. Aquarian mothers are never fiercely protective of their children. They take a tolerant view of the most startling confession. A Uranus woman will seldom punish a child for telling the truth, no matter what he's done. With her unprejudiced viewpoint, she'll gain the complete confidence of her little ones. She's great at reassuring young minds about everything from monsters hiding under the bed to the pain of being ignored in the playground. She can turn their tears to laughter in minutes. Your children will find her jolly fun, a little helter-skelter, relaxed about housework, helpful with homework and gentle when they're ill. She won't smother them with affection, and she'll seldom nag. Maybe Tommy didn't wash his hands the third time he was told, but she's more interested in what he learned in science class.

We may be a little ahead of ourselves. Even though Uranus likes to reverse the existing orders of things, before your Aquarian girl becomes a mother she has to become a wife. And before she becomes your wife, you'll have to convince her that marriage isn't synonymous with Al-catraz. She won't exactly rush into matrimony. She's in no hurry to take your name until she's weighed you, sorted you, tested you, and found out what makes you tick. The opinions of her friends and family will mean nothing, though she may ask them what they think out of curiosity. She has her own yardstick for measuring you. Assuming you pass her test, marriage to an Aquarian girl can be confusing. She'll listen pleasantly when you give her advice, but there's something in the Uranian make-up that prevents her from following directions explicitly. She can't stick to the recipe when she bakes one of her angel food cakes anymore than she can park the car exactly where you told her to. There's some kind of a snag in her thinking that causes her to believe just a little twist will improve any­thing. But shell smile agreeably as she goes on her own sweet way. There's a constant urge to experiment with a different way to make the coffee, fill her pen, fasten her ice skates or cross the street. She'll wear a sweater back­wards, mix her brandy with milk, arrange flowers in a fish bowl, rinse her hair in shaving lotion or make a rock garden on your desk. But don't ask her why. She doesn't know herself. The unique and unusual is her wave-length, that's all.

Because her nature is so impersonal, expressions of deep feeling won't come easily. Except for those sudden remarks that sound likes a combination of Robert Frost and Yogi Berra, she has few words with which to express her love, and her pattern of physical passion is woven closely with threads connected to the mind and soul. Although the unique Uranus outlook leads some Aquarian girls into peculiar attachments, once they find the right mate their marriages are usually models of happiness.("I wish that moment will come true")

Your Aquarian woman can float through her days and nights with all the grace of a proud swan, but she may behave like a clumsy bear in romantic situations. The line between friendship and love is often all but invisible to Aquarius. Love songs about people who only have eyes for each other strike her as silly. There are so many miracles in the world for eyes to behold, it seems to her a terrible waste for two pairs of them to do nothing but gaze into each other's depths. Shell be glad to let you take her hand and walk beside her as she looks with happy delight on the sunrise, an antique car, the milkman's horse, a yel­low garbage pail, a stuffed owl or a red balloon caught in a church steeple. But don't distract her with too much to-getherness. Let her wander through her wonderland alone when she chooses, and she'll never question your pinochle games with the boys.

The quickest ways to lose her are to show jealousy, pos-sessiveness or prejudice; to be critical, stuffy or ultra-conservative. You'll also have to like her friends, who will come in odd, assorted sizes and shapes.

She's susceptible to sudden flashes of inspiration, and her intuition is remarkable. Her judgment may not seem sound or practical at first, because she sees months and years ahead. The Aquarian girl lives in tomorrow, and you can only visit there through her. What she says will come true, perhaps after many delays and troubles, but it will come true. I suppose, after all, that's the most special thing about your February woman. She's a little bit magic.