DEGIL

After all this, I'm so confused and I am not sure how I feel about me...things change but life doesn't stop for anyone neither me...I made mistakes and I have regrets. I acted like I'm a lot tougher than I am but I'm crying a lots. I'm not perfect, but the beauty of it is, I don't care.. Maybe I'm not letting it go, Yes I'm not because I don't want to forget...DEGIL

IF I COULD/ BE ABLE

Kalau I mampu menjerit, I akan menjerit sekuat hati, Kalau I mampu bertahan, I akan bertahan menjadi kuat, Kalau I mampu berhenti, I akan berhenti untuk meneruskan, Kalau I mampu berfikir, I akan berfikir sebelum memulakan, Kalau I mampu berpatah balik, YES I akan berpatah balik supaya tidak bertemu, Kalau I mampu tidak melihat, I akan terus tidak melihat, KALAU I MAMPU Tapi I tidak mampu untuk segalanya di atas.. Menyesal...it's to late for me...

CRYING BABY

The world as I see it ~> my life, my view..... Crying is my birth right and shall have it. Ok I admit it, I'm a cry baby...I cry at the drop of a hat over anything and everything...sometimes I cry for the silliest of things... Rindu pun boleh menangis too..ahhhh I'm so lembik..Sometimes I get annoyed at my self and wonder is it a bad thing to cry? basically crying has always been associated with women. Another stereotype. REASON? Mmmmm possibly because women aren't afraid of being mocked for crying or for that matter afraid of openly expressing their emotion. My opinion, crying definitely makes the head and the heart lighter, crying is not a sign of vulnerability nor is it a sign of weakness. Oh ya, keeping pain bottled up may make me look strong temporarily but eventually the volcano will burst and the lava will come out stronger than before.... *spiderweb head*

TIADA REZEKI

Kata orang, rezeki itu ada dimana-mana. Memang pun betul kata pepatah melayu. Apa ke tidaknya, I dah ada di Jeddah, dekat je kalau nak pergi membuat umrah or nak pergi ziarah sembahyang di Masjidil Haram. Just bayar duit cab pergi and balik around not more than Rm200. Orang lain kena membayar beribu ringgit untuk pergi, tapi bila I disini, tak pergi...haissss...bukan untuk trip kali ni maybe..tiada panggilan untuk I pergi menziarah walaupun sudah dekat..hati memang kuat nak pergi beribadah disana sambil berdoa agar dimakbulkan..tetapi tiada jemputan untuk I kesana..tersangat lah sedih hati I bila difikirkan, rugi memang teramat rugi untuk orang seperti I yang beragama Islam. Tak apa lah, maybe next time kot rezeki dan panggilan buat diri I nanti...insyaAllah... *Tak shopping apa-apa pun this time sebab frust tak masuk Mekah, just bought mom's henna*

KAWIN

I'm single and no prospects...But that is not the main subject that I would like to blog in here. Actually a few minutes ago I just found out that my Ex boyfriend (NOT SHARAZAD) just got married a couple weeks ago (1st April). I was shocked, numb and speechless a minute. There is a little hurt that came in when i know the person from a piece of my heart moved on to be happy. AAAHHH Langtak lah, i'm not looking for sympathy anyway. I'm just shocked that he's married, that's all... Why i'm shock? i'm shocked just because he did told me before that he don't want any commitment to have a family and i left him for that reason...THE END

RINDU

Ya Allah it's almost 5 am and I'm still wide awake missing someone strongly. I am always wonder that when we miss someone, is it because we love that person? My answer here is, Yes..We do love them and I love him so much.
It has been 6 months I have moved on but still until today I have him in my mind. It's really hurts and painful and he

always have an access getting in inside my mind, and always makes me wanted to see him or be with him but of course that was all in my mind but its driving me crazy (Alhamdullillah not yet crazy), orang dah tak suka still lagi teringat). I tears at him day and night. It’s horrible feeling in my gut and it just won’t go away, really painful...
As hard as it is to let him go, I know I have to. I told my self, Sometimes when you love someone so much, you have to let it go, with hopes they will come back to you. And if they don’t, there’s nothing more to do but move on. Time heals all wounds, but without those wounds, I would not be the strong person and i would not have grown into the woman I am proud to be. I don’t know what my future holds, I don’t know if I will have him back in my life the way it was. But at least I know a side of him no one else does. And I hope I have planted something in his head so he knows he’s a great person and worth every bit of love from someone else. I miss him like crazy and some days it’s difficult to breathe, but with each breath I get a piece of me back and know I am fortunate to have even known him. I will always love him and still missing him till today no matter where our paths lead us..MISS HIM :(


* Mohd Sharazad Saiful Bahri*

SAMBIL SELAM, KITA MINUM DULU

Pepatah melayu said, sambil menyelam kita minum air, so here i am, sambil mememilih pilih avatar and layout design i dengan pantas zasssssss menulis lagi..Bukan apa, nak bagi tau, yang sebenarnya i ada twitter yang lebih active dari i menulis dalam blog (ceh perasan lah i ni, macamlah banyak sangat menulis).
I rasa lah meTweet ni lagi senang sebab tulis apa yang ringkas saja and yang lagi satu mana-mana boleh update sebab using handphone (i guna BB, Ceh best sangat ke). Nak update blog ni i rasa macam leceh sebah nak kena on lappy, eventho i ada I-Pad, eh i'm not trying to cakap i ni gadget women, tapi orang ada , i pun sibuk nak ada juga. Ok back to the I-Pad, actually I-Pad tu i guna untuk main games saja, and all the emails and FB I just check thru my BB. So to write and blogging me telah lupakan for sekejap.`Sebab i lebih suka blogging thru lappy, macam lebih senang as the tittle atas said sambil selam kita minum, meaning that, sambil i buat assignment i tu dulu, i memblogging. Easy right, so tak lah stress sangat..
Closing, my twitter account is YanMalik. *after ni try lah blogging using I-Pad*
Oh tidak, this is what I don't like, my lappy buat hal, so here i can't continue menukar segalanya...hate it when you are in the mood of making something, then ada yang berlaku...stress..stress...nasib baik ada I-Pad...

TIME TO CHANGE

         TIME TO CHANGE THIS LAY OUT

  Yuhoooooo...im back..after so long menghilangkan diri...haisssss suddenly tak tahu how nak mulakan, terpandang lama depan lappy ni...tersangat tak bestnya...before ni punyalah banyak nak story..siap draft lagi dalam kepala...
Ok anyway folks, The tittle is "Time to change" , yup time to change for segala- galanya dalam my blog ni. From the nick name to the profile picture and the design of the lay out..Punyalah lama tertukar. Blogger lain semua dah advance menukar macam-macam, tapi i tetap yang lama..haisss sunggu memalukan..