Sepi hati terjadi lagi
Mungkin sampai mati aku sepi
Biar senyum hadir di hariku
Namun ini hanya ada di bibir
Di bibir saja
Aku ini yang bisa mengerti
Walaupun yang lain mau mengerti
Namun berat beban di hidupku
Biarkan saja.. biar saja
Hanya ku yang tahu
Sejarah cinta dan hidupku
Penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
Butuh kesabaran yang penuh
Untuk tetap kuberdiri
Oh! ada saatnya kubicara
Bila hatiku t'lah bulat
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
Aku tetap diam...

Yes that is me...cry..For the last couple of hours I have a lump in my throughout and every few minutes tears fill my eyes and yup I cry. I
know this lump very well,It's been there since I know and met him(eventho its just a few months only) and left me, and those tears, they sneak up my eyes so often, every time I face one of those very well known moments that touch me inside and just like a button make those tears flow..
SEPI makes the tears run down my face very easily... Every time someone finds love, every time someone loses a loved one.. A story of me about making a dream come true after working very hard for it. All those portrayed moments of unity, friendship, kindness, caring or generosity between people, those really get to me... I know these are like sob stories designed to make me emotional. The connection to my life which is utterly missing any of the above is obvious. Although it wasn't that obvious until someone showed it to me, that losing a loved one had a devastating effect on my life,I am still not able to fully comprehend nor be closer to find a way to heal.I-want-to-cry-my-eyes-out!!! I want to let it all out! feel my rib cage go up and down again and again, pushing all of the tears and the pain out of my body, I want to be able to make a sound, hear my own voice without worrying how it sounds, get rid of the shame to let it out and finish everything... I have this scream inside me, it is a so shattering and chilling, how can something be so violent and strong yet so silent?
No comments:
Post a Comment